You just made me feel so damn special
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
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He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
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I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.