Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.