I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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