I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
