Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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