Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize