and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
