direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
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Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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