How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
