jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
