There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
