i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
