Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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