Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize