is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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