You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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