listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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