Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
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