i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ