She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
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He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
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Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.