Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
I love us.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.