I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid