just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
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Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
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I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"