Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Banned from zoo.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life