While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's blow job season.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.