Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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