The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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