i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
