i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
