You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize