Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
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My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
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When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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