Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
