Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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