Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Found your dick twin last night
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We left the knife in your bed.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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