u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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