The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize