if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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