another moral hangover. fuck.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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