Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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