she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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