I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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