fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.