i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson