Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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