shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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