If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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