And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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