Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
