he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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