is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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