In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
