True but thats because hes a fetus.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize