Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
wanna go halves on a baby?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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