is your mom at the bar?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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