We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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