kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize