Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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